“We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us.” – Winston Churchill
The beautiful home in the feature photo belongs to a wonderful family in Virginia, a couple I graduated college with, their three children and their beloved family pets. Tragically their home burned yesterday. Thankfully everyone is safe. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this since I heard the news.
What would it be like to lose my home? Not just a structure of concrete, brick, wood and plaster, but the space which holds so many memories for me as well as the objects that hold such sentiment for me? The photos, the quilts made by my mother, collections and art that hold special meaning. Nothing precious or of great value but irreplaceable.
Of course the most important thing is the physical safety of everyone involved. But you can’t deny the devastation that they must feel right now and will have to relive over the coming days, weeks and months as they rebuild.
What do you think of Winston Churchill’s quote? He made this quote in reference to rebuilding the Commons Chamber of the British Parliament after it was bombed during the Blitz of 1943. He believed it should be rebuilt in the same fashion as its structure had helped to define the structure of the two-party system.
Do you believe our buildings, our homes, shape us in some way? I do. I think they become part of you and their absence leaves a hole. For something that has always been there to suddenly be gone is a loss to be grieved.
I have no doubt that my friends will rebuild with the support of their family, friends, church and community. I’m not sure if they will restore what they once had or build anew, but it will take time to recreate a space that holds such meaning for their family.
My name is Deb Cohen, and I am a lifelong resident of Connecticut, a lover of all things historic and New England, and a realtor who helps buyers and sellers achieve their real estate goals and dreams. When I’m not working, I enjoy life with my husband, our two adult children, and our two rescue pups. Renovating and decorating our historic home, dating to 1800, is another favorite pastime.
What a thought provoking post. Thank goodness your friends are safe. In Pasadena- we lived in our first home for 7 years. We moved to the next- bigger home and lived there for 2 years. I remember waking up those first few days and wondering where I was. We’ve been in Missouri for 6 months. At least once a week, I wake up in a panic not sure of where I am. I am living in transition in my mind because I haven’t quite wrapped my head around my living space. In my mind- I am not home.
That’s quite a bit of moving! I’m sure you will feel at home soon but it takes a while, especially when the entire area is new to you, not just the home. MO must be quite different from CA!
So unfortunate. I’m relieved they’re all okay, but I’m sure they feel devastated. I think home is a very specific feeling. It’s notable, the way it takes time to adjust when we move, the magical timeline where you wake up in a new house every day, until one day, you wake up at home. We live much the same, no matter the house, but each home has its variables, and no doubt shapes the patterns of our lives.
I am so glad your friends are ok, how sad! Also I love this quote and think it’s absolutely true. Have you ever heard that Frank Lloyd Wright designed his bedrooms with very low ceilings so they’re a comfortable place to sleep but you’re encouraged to leave when you wake up? Not sure if I could live with this but I think it’s so fascinating how architects can manipulate people through spaces!
Thanks, Susie. It is terribly sad. I can’t stop thinking about it. I wish I knew what to do but I live so far away. I read an on-line article about the fire and it said the home is a total loss. It’s made of stone so it was hard to tell but the whole interior must be gutted – fire damage plus all the water damage from the fire department to stop the blaze. That is very interesting about Frank Lloyd Wright’s design! Maybe that would help me get out of bed 😉 I would feel claustrophobic! I definitely believe architecture can subtly impact emotions and behavior.
Sorry about your friends home. I think we are shaped by things around us and the home is especially important.
Thanks, John. Truly can’t imagine what they are going through. I know people say you shouldn’t attach yourself to objects but it’s very hard not to!
I’m sorry to hear the news about your friends house. Deb. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose everything, especially sentimental stuff that can never be replaced.
In answer to your question – yes, I do believe that our homes shape us. After all, don’t they say that the kitchen is the heart of the home? I certainly believe that people choose a home that reflects themselves.
Thanks Hugh. It truly must be awful – wish I knew how to help from so far away!! Very true statement that people choose a home that reflects themselves, at least most of the time. I think some people are more in tune with/sensitive to architecture though. Otherwise why do some care about buildings being destroyed where others don’t? I can’t get my head around that 🙂
I think it all has to do with our personalities, likes and dislikes. What one person likes, another will not. We all find beauty in the most unusual things. I was taking a picture of a door today (for Norm’s challenge) and said how beautiful it was, yet my partner said he would have it replaced if we we’d been buying the house it was on. Yet, we both love our home, the way it looks, and its build. 🙂
So very true!
Dramatic photo, and I’m very glad to hear everyone survived. I think homes shape us somewhat until we move and then the process starts over again so I’m not sure how lasting it is. With that being said, I think there are certain homes that stay with you forever. For me, that memory would be my grandparents’ farm. 🙂
Very true, Judy. I have been in my current home since 2003, and my old home is right down the street where I lived for 8 years. But I don’t think about it as my home anymore, my current home is. But then again, whenever I’m in MD I drive by my grandparents old house and the memories flood back. I can’t imagine going there and having it be gone!!
It’s a pity there isn’t a sympathy button to click instead of ‘Like’ as I really am very sorry that your friends had to go through this. My kitchen at a time when we lived in a remote area. I got my four young children out of the house then went back inside to phone the fire brigade. After making the call, I grabbed my photo albums and ran back outside (this was pre-digital age, they were irreplaceable). I used to wonder what we should save, besides ourselves and any pets, if our house went on fire. That answered my question but nowadays it would be my laptop. Thankfully it was mostly smoke damage we suffered and some burnt floor covering. I’m so glad your friends are safe, that’s what’s most important although the loss of personal items and memorabilia will take a toll, for sure.
Thanks, Jean.I’m sorry you had an experience with fire and very glad it was contained!! Wish I knew what I could do for my friends. Their home is a total loss 🙁 I live about ten hours away so not much to do remotely except offer words of support.
I’m so sad for your friends Deb. I am glad that everyone is safe but the loss must be devastating. I’m not sure about our home shaping us. I move a lot of times early on, and then I settled into a place that was probably not ideal, but it was comfortable. I guess I’m at the point where it’s shaping me some, but I’m still (physically) shaping it too. Good luck to your friends.
Thanks, Dan. Turns out no one was home when the fire started but their teenage son returned home to smoke and called the fire department. It was too far underway for them to contain it. So awful – apparently the home is a total loss. As far as home shaping us – I’m sure how long you live in a place has a big impact. If you move often maybe you don’t have time to get attached? I don’t know. Maybe I’m more sentimental than some 🙂